Deciding the bigger things, making and executing the plans and keeping their partner pampered – the signs of a great relationship. But like any human interaction, one person is often ends up taking charge of the relationship. Here’s how you can find out who wears the pants in your relationship:
They Understand Your Concerns
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Like any good leader of a team, the partner who recognizes your problems along with theirs is the leader in this relationship. Do you lead by listening and reflecting back? As in, do you really listen and interpret what your partner wants to convey? As we all know, words can be tricky and not totally exactly helpful at times. A great partner, however, reads between the lines and drums up a solution like a lightening. Like do you ever hold your upset partner and tell them, “I know you’re not being understood by your family right now. It stings”? Now, this doesn’t directly solve the problem but it makes them feel loved and safe.
They Lead By Example
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Like all relationships, there must be issues which are rather strenuous and you’d have them done in a different way. But the partner who talks the talk and walks the walk is the one who leads by example. If you would rather that your partner invest less time watching the TV and more time in doing something together, then instead of nagging them the leader in the relationship would start doing something fun and then invite the partner along. If you want your partner to change their patterns or habits, you have to change yours first for them to follow suit. It is easier to preach, but the one who starts implementing the changes that could make things easier and nicer for both of you to coexist is the leader here. No number of impactful heart-to-heart conversations will work unless you have some actions to show for it. Like they say, actions really speak louder than words.
Moving In A Direction
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Even though you’re both in the front seat, one of you needs to be responsible for shifting gears as and when required. As the relationship proceeds, you both take up roles in the relationship and one of you by default leads the way. Both of you are dedicated to the relationship in your own ways. But only one is entrusted with paving the path while the other one trusts them completely. A definite leadership dynamic helps reduce drama and entails a lot of healthy dependability within your relationship.
Codependence is a beautiful feeling especially when done with the love of your love. Maybe you’re not the one for all the serious talk and big decisions, but if you have a partner who understands your needs and lovingly fills in for your share of work too, you’ve found the one!
