We Indians are pretty unique creatures. Not only are we unique in our way of doing things but also in the things we say. The most absurdly exciting aspect of the few things we habitually say to each other is that they make no sense at all. Our creative and no-fucks-given minds have created phrases that can only make sense to us. As funny and meaningless as these phrases are, we just can’t stop using them!! Here are just few of the best ones.
What Is Your Good Name?
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Now, you might be thinking that “hey, do I have a bad name too?” I mean what’s the whole point of asking for a *good* name. But you don’t get it, do you? This is our way of being polite. We Indians are sweet like that. People say “what a nice name!” after hearing the answer to “what’s your name?” But we Indians are quite confident that your parents gave you a very good name. So, we just go straight ahead and ask for your *good* name. Now, if you think about it, we are actually being super smart 😉
I Am An Eggitarian
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You have probably guessed the meaning of this one but in case you haven’t, an eggitarian is someone who is a vegetarian but doesn’t mind eating eggs. Because “hey, egg isn’t non-veg food, is it?” Of course not! It is not like that egg was going to hatch and a baby chicken was going to come out of it. It is just a shell of protein na? These eggitarians are people who are forcefully justifying their choice to eat eggs and trying not be called someone who *eats meat*. Well, nobody is judging. Just eat what you want! I guess I will start calling myself chaitarian because I love chai! I mean, why not? 😛
“4 Log Kya Kahenge”
I just badly want to know who these 4 people are. I mean, really? In India, whenever you are about to do something unconventional or out of the *rule book*, you will instantly be shot with a weapon called “4 log kya kahenge” which translates to “what will 4 people say?” Yeah, I know! It makes no sense at all. They just want to ask what would people say about it but why 4? Where does this number come from? It will always remain a mystery I guess!
“2 Min Ruk, Mai 5 Min Mein Aaya”
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Now this is one is just out rightly hilarious. We Indians are quite popular for are punctuality (not). But more than that, we are famous for telling ambiguous and impossible time periods of tuning up to a meeting. When I am literally 30 minutes away from a party, I would probably say “I will reach in 5”. That’s just how we are! But the phrase “2 min ruk, mai 5 min mein aaya” is another level of this tradition. It literally translates to, “wait for 2 minutes; I will be there in 5”. WHAT? For next 5 minutes, the person who hears that will probably just contemplate “what did I just hear?”!!
“Tu Aa Gaya!”
Here is another classic! We Indians desperately love stating the obvious. Every morning when I come from a bath, my mother says, “Beta naha liya?” I mean yeah mom, you can literally see me coming out of the washroom after taking a long, nice bath. Similarly, whenever someone arrives, we Indians will almost always say “Tu aa gaya” which literally translates to “You are here?” NO I AM NOT. I AM SOMEWHERE ELSE. YOU ARE SEEING AN ILLUSION OF ME. UGH.
There’s a reason why it’s so much fun being an Indian. We might say absurd things but the point is that it makes sense to us.
