Sex is a natural, biological need and one has to curb or quench it and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. People often say too much and too little of anything is not healthy, but definitely not when it comes to sex. A person can have a lot of sex or no sex at all, and both are okay. What is, however, not okay is when sex is juxtaposed against shame, betrayal and secrecy. In short, that is the ideal definition of a sex addict.
Who is not a sex addict?
Sex drive and sex addiction are not the same thing. Hence people with high libido are not equivalent to sex addicts. Sex addicts usually lie and up cheating on their partners while people with high libidos engage in transparent and open relationships. Sex addicts also tend to immensely objectify their partners and treat them as commodities devoid of free will. They can also masturbate to the point of physically hurting themselves while people with high libidos usually masturbate for pleasure. Sex addicts are willing to engage in any kind of intercourse despite the negative consequences.
Dealing with a Sex Addict
It’s difficult just when reading about sex addiction, living or staying with one must be a rollercoaster ride. But there are a few things that you can do to if your bae cannot stop having sex that’s hurting him/her or you or anyone else for that matter.
- First, you need to stop living in denial and just accept the fact that your partner is a sex addict. There is nothing to be embarrassed about it. If this is what it is then accepting it will help you and your partner to recover sooner.
- Second, don’t shy away from seeking professional help. Therapy sessions or psychosexual counseling can do wonders when it comes to sex addiction. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a common and accepted solution to this.
- If your partner is not willing to do anything about it then ensure that you do anything and everything to help. Take him/her to support groups. Openly discussing about it can help a lot.
- If it helps, sit down and talk him/her through it personally. Ask questions and listen to them. Let them know that you are open to sexual experiments, role-play and the like but when you decline to have sex you will stand by it and your “no” is not a “yes” to having sex with other people. Ensure they know your boundaries and they respect it.
- Set your limits well and let them understand this very well, that you are not to be taken for granted. If they are not willing to accept your denial in any way, and would look for sex elsewhere, it would be an end to the relationship.
It’s also important to understand that not everyone who is an infidel is a sex addict. It’s a serious disorder and they are characterized by a sheer loss of control and prolonged and active participation in activities that might harm your partner or someone else. Before you take any step, be certain about it. A lot of pornography is also a big red sign. Look out for these signs and you will know!
