Come February, and it is time to let the cat out of the bag- Valentine’s Day is evil. It is a sheer conspiracy of the capitalists to make people further purchase things that they do not need to feel validated. Think about it- it does not matter whether you are single or in a relationship- on Valentine’s Day, everybody loses. If you are single, you feel like the loneliest creature on earth thanks to all the #RelationshipGoals social media PDA. If you are not single then cue the pressure of being the perfect couple at least on this day, even though you swear on everything you hold dear that you could sell your partner’s soul to Satan for a single corn chip otherwise. And for some reason the advertisers always find a way to sell something or the other to everyone on this God forsaken day.
At first, they started out pretty juvenile- chocolates, flowers, maybe a watch or so. But now they are suddenly telling people to buy diamonds and platinum for their partner or for themselves (based on their relationship status). That is not even practical! How is anybody going to think, buying a diamond to their partner of 7 months is a good idea when they still have to hold their farts in front of them? In a nutshell, Valentine’s Day is overrated just like every gift idea related to it- or so you thought.
For all the comrades out there, who are on the same page of bitterness about this day, allow this London zoo to change your mind. The Hemsley Conservation Centre at London is offering a perfect get-even gift idea to people by allowing them to name a cockroach after their ex! In exchange of just 1.50 pounds, anybody can buy a cockroach name that will come along with a certificate declaring that a cockroach has been named “in the not so loving memory of my worthless ex”.
UK discount retailer @Poundland have defended their latest ‘gimmick’ The Gift of Nothing…as a ‘bit of fun’.
Nothing fun about this gross use of unnecessary plastic packaging… massive PR FAIL????????#plastic #plasticpackaging #endplasticwaste #ecofriendly pic.twitter.com/z7KZs0vJOZ
— Stephen Milton (@miltonfreelance) January 21, 2019
Not so many days ago a retail store in London was reported to be selling packets full of “nothing”, quite literally, as Valentine’s Day gift item and now this. Looks like this year the theme for Valentine’s Day in the UK is passive aggression. Not all of us can be Taylor Swift after all, writing passive aggressive songs about our exes only to turn them into multi-million-dollar records. But thanks to HCC now you have it- the second-best option.
So, if you found that interesting, call out your ex and help the cause of wildlife conservation at the same time- lets be an eco-friendly yet salty human this February!
