As a kid, I grew up with the tag of being a well-behaved one. Except for a few times when I got red marks in Maths, my parents never had to attend any parent-teacher sessions. I was a fuss-free kid when it came to anything among friends. Even when I grew up and started going for trips, I was credited as one of the most adjusting person. The group leader once told me off for being fussy about refusing to eat phulka, and I worked on it soon.
Peace is what I have always loved. I stayed away from things that could potentially bring in ugliness in conversation. As humans, we all tend to avoid unpleasant discussions that makes space for negative emotions, but I am one who is at the extreme edge of ‘not wanting’ it. Confrontations are never peaceful. They are typically characterised by illogical arguments, lies, and screaming voices. I have a fear of such moments, which is why I have never confronted anyone in my life. Every human being is a bit uncomfortable about such scenarios. For instance, telling your partner that you would never want to marry can be difficult for many. But small things like saying ‘no’, or return a wrong pack of lunch, or poke that friend who had borrowed some money and forgot to return, are really difficult for me.
Image Credit: yourtango
I am not saying all confrontations are huge. Even the mere ones never made me speak up. While in college, we were three friends, one of whom would always come at least half an hour late on every single occasions! Initially, we thought she had genuine reasons, but later we got to know, she is a bit laid back, and always late. While the other friend in the group would howl at the late-coming one, I would just let it go. It was not that I did not hate being stranded for as long as one hour at times by her, yet I thought that was ‘better’ than confronting her. My best response than confronting people is to avoid them gradually. Less communications, less engaging, and citing excuses. That way, I never had to deal with stress, or fear of confrontations.
However, now when I look back, I wish I had confronted people. I have lost a lot of friends as I avoided confrontations and slowly went numb. Interestingly, I have seen people who fought like hell, badmouthed each other, spoke behind each other’s back still remain to be friends. I have tried to gather up courage and confront people on certain occasions in the past two years, but I actually could not do it. I guess, it is not in my nature to confront anyone. I prefer to walk away than to confront people.
