Love relationships – a beautiful source of love, joy and happiness in our lives. But at the same time, romantic relationships can be tricky. It’s difficult to figure out where to draw the line when you share significant details about your past and present with your partner. And it’s more difficult to be 100% honest to your partner, even when the truth is bitter. But as they say, honesty is the base of a strong relationship – when two adults, mature enough to have a relationship, are together, accountability and integrity is an already expected aspect from that relationship.
Having said that, it is always easier said than done. Human beings are complicated and no two humans are all the same. So sharing a critical moment of truth with your significant other can be challenging. Even though there is no absolutely foolproof way of doing it, if you keep the following in mind, the process might be a little easier for you.
Ask for permission
Rather than abruptly saying “our relationship is not working” to their face, it’s better to let them know first that you want to have a tough conversation that you think is extremely necessary for both of you. If the person is not ready, give them a little time and space and approach again. Setting the stage for the conversation allows their mind to reciprocate more and the chances of them understanding you is higher.
Make sure the setting is appropriate
Needless to say, a concert or a friend’s wedding ceremony is not a great place to talk about complicated issues. Choose a safe environment for the têté-á-têté to avoid any kind of overhearing or making a scene. A familiar and intimate environment like that of a home or a quiet café not only allows you the required privacy, but also allows the other person to react in an uncensored manner, thus resisting any bottling up of emotions.
Start on a positive note
Remember when Vijay in Queen called Rani to a café to tell her he can’t marry her on their wedding day? First of all, don’t wait till your wedding to tell someone you can’t marry them (seriously, don’t be that dumb). Second of all, rather than jumping straight to the bitter part like Vijay, the greatest cinematic jerk, start with something positive like “You’re one of the most important people in my life and I feel I should be completely honest with you. So..”
Don’t take forever to say it
When the above point said “start with something positive”, it meant “start” only. Do not beat around the bush forever. It induces anxiety into the other person and they might have an extreme reaction to the truth or even worse, your brain might end up convincing you not to say it at all.
They say, honesty is the best policy and fortunately or unfortunately, this cliché is true. Life loves to throw curveballs at us all the time and sometimes telling your significant other a hard truth can make you feel insecure. Thoughts of them not understanding your point of view or the truth permanently damaging your relationship will try their best to stop you from saying it in the first place. But always remember, you cannot let them win. Open communication is an integral part of any functional relationship and rather than acting based on assumptions, be honest and wait for their reaction. It always turns out better in the long run to blurt the truth out than to hide it.
So, speak out… NOW!
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