Do you have a colleague of the opposite gender with whom you are more comfortable than others? You eat together, take breaks together, stay in touch over weekends and bitch about the boss together?
You could be having a work spouse. This new relationship category is being accepted more and more in the Indian work space. As we spend majority of waking hours in the office, there is no harm in having a companion at work.
Like Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan in Criminal Minds, or Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson in Law and Order or like Cal Lightman and Gillian Foster in Lie to Me, having a work spouse can boost your performance and make your work fun.
Chad McBride, a professor of communication studies at Creighton University who researches these unique relationships, came up with a definition for work spouse as “a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect.”
This means all the support and emotions within marriage, but without the physical intimacy. The benefits of such an arrangement include someone having your back. If you are late for a meeting, or need someone to grab a bite when you are hungry, you can totally rely on someone. If you are down with a flu, and need help with preparing a PPT deck, you can have someone to do it.
This is also a natural filter to your behaviour. You can show them your mails before firing it off. You can talk to them about management issues, before heading to the HR. Work spouses help each other in following the right code of conduct, and act as work censors.
They keep you grounded. Too happy about the praise that boss bestowed on you in a meeting? The work spouse will keep you humble. You can be sure that at least one person at work truly cares about you.
However, there are some possible perils of having a work spouse. Apart from the direct implications on your personal life and relationship with real partner, work spouses can endanger professional reputations and work ethics.
There were rumours and political blogs about an illicit affair and love letters between former US President George Bush and his Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice.
You have to be cautious that you do not cross the limits with your work spouse. This could affect your credibility and could lose you some favours from the management. Not all HR departments see such closeness favourably. Grapevine is a dangerous but inevitable factor in offices, and it could ruin your career.
Also, if the basis of your work relationship is complaining about work, it’s easy to slip into negative patterns. It is necessary to take an approach of resolution at work. Only bitching and complaining, without efforts at improving the situation, is not helpful. Another caution to be exercised with a work spouse is you do not get into a too comfortable zone. Pushing yourself into new arenas and challenges is important for professional growth.
You may be comfortable with blurring the conventional borders between professional and personal, and it may be great to have a work spouse. It is better to be totally aware and in control of this new mode of relationship status.
