When you start dating someone, you automatically tie your emotions to them – the aftermath of which includes expectations and sometimes many of them. What you won’t realize is that many a times, your relationship could’ve flourished had it not been for the pressure of fulfilling expectations on you or your partner. How to find a way out of the ultimate Relationship-Killer? We’re here to help you.
Communicate, Please
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The best way to begin is to ensure you’re both on the same page. Since you’re both different specimens of homo sapiens, your perspective towards the relationship and each other also differ. You may expect a minute-by-minute update while they may not have the need for such a detailed report. They may be okay going for a party stag (even when it comes to you) while you may want to add them as a plus one to all your shindigs. What you can do is constructively talk about what you guys prefer doing and how. Then work your way forward with it together.
Don’t Make It A Deal-Breaker
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Whether or not you guys have had the sit-down about this subject, there is no way you could’ve covered all possible topics and scenarios. If your partner does something that you are not happy about or if they missed out on doing something which could’ve made you exhilaratingly joyous, then you can tell them how their action or omission of it makes you feel. Use words like “Hey, so this is what happened and it makes me feel uncomfortable.” Or you could say “What you did was wonderful. Thank you so much for it. But you know what could’ve taken it a level higher ..” Never be upset because they couldn’t fulfil your expectations. Instead, talk to your partner about it. That’s the only way you could ensure your partner knows what you want. Not everyone is a mind-reader.
It’s A Two-Way Street
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While you wish to feel loved in your own way, so does your partner. Do you talk their language of love as fluently as you expect them to talk yours? They expect to be given a free pass on nights when they just want to be with their friends. It doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t want to spend time with you, but just that they wish to chill and unwind with their friends. Also, they expect you to be forgiving when they don’t do things that make you happy. Love each other despite of your shortcomings instead of calling each other out on each mess-up. Embrace the flaws and try to understand your partner before trying to change them to fit your idea of a perfect partner.
Know When To Pull The Cord Off
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While not every instance of an unfulfilled Expectation is a red signal, you should always know when really is the right time to pick up your stuff and leave for good. When you realize that your partner and you will never be on the same page about your idea of a relationship, that’s when you should call it off. You can’t change a person and their ideology entirely for a relationship’s sake. In a situation where you are fully convinced that your expectations aren’t delusional and that your partner just doesn’t care about the same things as much as you do, that’s when it is the right time to say bye-bye. Missing a football match for a movie date doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to you, but your partner wants to watch the match when it airs. Don’t torture yourself and your partner over it until you get your way. That usually ends in a breakup.
Do not let expectations kill you and your relationship. Learn to control them. Do not let the expectations control you! It is not as simple as it sounds, but you can get there. Okay?
